STEP YA GAME UP!!!!

You know that blog I was going to put up back in February of '09? It turned out the more research I did the less interesting it became. It was going to be a detailed summary about anti-biotics.... I know, I know, fucking lame right? For some reason I thought a long, drawn-out article about the wonders of augmentin, avelox, and kantrex would somehow inspire a brief moment of excitement to any reader. Fuckin dumb idea Jake Sanders. Why didn't I think of writing about gay vampires or prepubescent wizards? Anyway, the reason for this random and unceremoniously post is because... I think I fell in love again. Yup, how do I know? I met a girl who I can't stop thinking about. A girl who I invest all my time, money, and effort into just trying to make her happy. Someone who I put before myself and care about deeply. It was weird when everything first started. Feelings which I had not felt in a very long time started pestering my being and I thought to myself - "Holy shit, it's happening again." Shortly after moving to Florida I had a close encounter, a pseudo emotional connection that was very nefarious - as myself being the culprit. The instigator. After being stripped of certain demise I felt a bit of relief. Still uneasy, I rested my insight and determination on the divide of hopelessness. All of the sudden, in the midst of life changing events that were taking place around me, this happens. I fall in love. Out of nowhere I start having friends, an amazing job opportunity, and obtaining my own place. All these things seemed to happen in a matter of days. Falling in love however, happened with such eloquence. It's something that would make the non-believers say "ahhhh he got lucky." but nonetheless still happened. In the few short months since the beginning it most certainly hasn't been the rudimentary boy/girl relationship that you see in the movies. But In reality does that exist anyways? With everything that transpired and having some backing with financial strength I was able to sit back and parlay with a dime, yo. I feel as though I'm reaching the summit. I had the attitude to "shoot for the stars and land on the moon." but ended up getting to the proverbial massive flaming balls of gas. Well, what happens next? If you reach the top you have nowhere else to go but down. Once reality stabbed me in the scrotum with a rusty screw driver I became skeptical. I wonder now if karma has created such a perfect wave of occurrences as to set the pins up again and roll a strike not in my favor. Time will be the judge of that. The near future is going to hold a lot of challenges that I don't feel I'm ready for. I have no choice but to step my game up. I vow never again to place any facet of my intellect on the divide of hopelessness as I have done before. Then again, I have no solid foundation to persuade myself otherwise. I'll know sooner rather than later weather or not I need to change my blog title to " I fell in love twice" or "I've fallen in love... truly for the last time".